Sunday, June 9, 2019

I am not a megaphone

Borderline and leaving religion have both taught me certain things. One place where these lessons overlap is the idea of who gets to define another person beliefs or values.

I watched for years as one church would call the members of another church out as "not true Christians." This still happens. A great example is when I hear people say that Catholics are not real Christians when it's obvious that they are. They may not agree with another person's beliefs but since I can't tell from the outside who is a true Christian and who isn't,  I take them at their word that they both believes they are and are trying to be with total sincerity.

I see the same arguments going on within the feminist community, where some women say that, for example, dressing in a sexy manner defies what feminism is about while another will claim that it's exactly what it's about. Some claim that a woman choosing to wear a burqa is anti feminist while women having the freedom to make that choice for themselves is exactly what feminism is about, freedom to choose what to do with their own bodies.

I don’t claim to know if both or even neither is right. I agree with many "feministic" ideals and have, at times, disagreed with what some feminists have claimed I had to agree with. This never sat right with me. I try, I really try to support women's empowerment but it seems that no matter what decision I make, there are issues which seem to make me a feminist to one woman while not a feminist to another.

Today, I was called a non ally to the LGBTQ+ community because I didn’t understand a trans woman's point of view. This has happened before, when I have asked for a clarification of something which was said to me. I have been told, multiple times, that to be a true ally I must subdue my own voice and simply amplify the voices of trans people.

But I am not a megaphone. I am a thinking, breathing human as well and I would never ask another person to subdue their opinion by simply stating that mine is correct because its MY opinion. I cannot bring myself to silence myself and throw away my critical mind. I question everyone and everything I don’t understand. And anyone who has read anything I write and post here knows that point goes for things I believe first and foremost.

I don't deny that those people in the LGBTQ+ community have led lives I don’t understand.  In fact, I say that I don't see how I possibly could. All I can try to do is empathize with their marginalization, sympathize with their predicament and try to get others to open their ears. One of the few things I have hope for is that there will come a day when none of this is even an issue anymore, simply because we all accept each other for we are. Although I will never live to see it.

I can only do the best I can. I want to listen to the stories.  I want to give people a leg up when I can and the fact that I'm a cis man, which limits my ability to do so from an understanding place, is not my problem.

The message I got told me that by doing a daily Pride post in the way I am comfortable is inappropriate, demeaning and making it all about me.
Well, you know what? To a certain extent it is but that's because this is my voice and my IG account and my blog and my brain doing the beat inducing can.

I will happily link to blogs i find interesting and informative,  regram posts I see which speak to me or I think may speak to others. But this is my voice and I'll be damned if I let anyone tell me I don’t have the right to use it just because I'm a straight white man. That's now how you get allies. That's not how you identify enemies. That's how you create apathy because the person being attacked will eventually tune out a message which could very well have taught us all a valuable lesson.

I'm sorry for this rant but I had to let it out somewhere.

Be well everyone.